Was it a bad dream?

Was last week a bad dream? It's like it never happened. All the bad stuff that Dad was going through last week is a distant memory. He is having a great week. I think it's because Dad doesn't have a roommate anymore, but with this disease, sometimes there's just no reason for any of it. When we visit him, he's happy and I don't get any calls about him being anxious or trying to jump the fence. So, since Dad is having a great week, that means that Megan and I get to have a great week too! Gosh, it feels soooo good.

Seriously, the Dad I see this week is healthier, younger, funnier, and more helpful. I didn't have to tell him how to do anything. He helped me push the cart at Target and knew how to put the cart back in one of those cart corrals in the parking lot. I made him a new mixed CD with oldies songs from the 50s and 60s and he knew them all before the lyrics even started! We sang along to "Wake-up Little Susie", "Tell Him", "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", "Bye, Bye, Love" "Big Girls Don't Cry". This brought me back to my past because I have memories of Megan and I dancing around to "Wake-up Little Susie" in the living room and I sang "Yakety Yak" in the 3rd grade talent show. He introduced us to all those songs, so they have a special place in my heart.

ALSO, Dad has a new lady friend! He had a lady friend when he first moved into Whittier Place, but I think he found her too bossy, so that didn't last very long. When I went to visit him yesterday, he was sitting next to this lady and I heard him say, "I'll be right back." I'm thinking... who is he talking to? He never makes an effort to have friends at Whittier. Dad and I were going to get lunch and before we left, this lady comes over and holds his hand. Her name is Esther and she doesn't really talk... just giggles and smiles. Perfect for Dad!!!! That's probably why he likes her. Apparently they walk up and down the hallways holding hands.

I absolutely know that these good days won't last forever and that he will never get 'better', but there's no reason that I can't enjoy them to the fullest. I would give anything to have a million more days like this with Dad and I am so happy to be writing about them so that I can remember these days during the dark times that I know will come.

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!

DAD HAD A GREAT DAY TODAY!!!! HOORAY!!! And to top it off, today was Father's Day. He was in a wonderful mood. He was silly, and super sweet, and loving. Megan and I both went to visit him and even though we were only there for an hour, we had fun with him. I'm so happy! It really made my day.

ALSO, Dad's roommate, Chuck, is gone. We think he may have been moved to a nursing home. Dad really kind of hated his roommate and I think that may have played a part in his good mood today. He also alluded that Chuck may have come over and hit him and it's possible that there was some sort of confrontation which may have led to him being moved out of the place (I have no idea if this is really true but Dad kept talking about some guy coming over and hitting him). Poor Chuck was having a difficult time and is much more advanced in the disease than my Dad is. So, Dad is in a room all by himself for the time being and he seems really happy about it. I don't think he even noticed that his roommate moved out.

I was in such a dark place two days ago. I am so happy to be writing about a happy event and I feel like I should be apologizing for writing such dismal blogs lately. There's only so much that someone can take and I think I reached my limits a few days ago. At least I know what those limits are now. I am going to stay positive and wait for the next good day. That's really all you can do with this disease.

Below is a video of Dad and Megan. She's explaining that today is Father's Day. He's so cute and sweet.

Good vs. Bad

Today was one of Dad's worse days in a long time. He tried to climb the fence today and when I talked to him on the phone, he hung up on me twice. So I went to Whittier. An hour later I walked away feeling bummed out. He's upset and confused and kind of seems depressed... I'll get into more of it later. (after I go to the gym for the second time today cause this situation stresses me out)!

Dad's token 'bad day' phrases:
"I have no money"
"They steal all my things"
"I want to see my people"
"I'll walk there"

He thinks he can walk to Pasadena or the ocean when in fact we all know it is really far...
Anyway, I attached two videos... one is of him on a good day with Megan and the other one is from today.

A Good Day

Today was my turn to visit Dad. I looked up something fun to do and found an arcarde nearby. That would be fun.

When I arrived they had all been gathered in the dining room of the Memory Care area. I put my face up against the glass and waited for him to spot me. Then, like a child being picked up from school by his mom, he smiled and giggled and immediately ditched the other people at his tabel to come see me... mumbling something like "That is my girl".

Usually in the car I put on his favorite jazz tunes and that transforms into something wonderful. Today, instead, we called my half sister, Kelly, who lives in Oregon. (We had already talked that morning and she is supposed to reinforce to Dad that he lives in a great place and that he shouldn't try to escape.) Dad tells her, "I almost forgot you." I am just happy that he genuinely does seem to know who she is today. Who knows how much longer he will remember her since they never see each other.

The good news is that today is a good day. I can tell already -- I won't have to calm him or answer difficult questions. He is pretty merry. We get to the arcade and it is closed -bummer- so we go over to Ruby's for lunch.

My childhood was spent in Fallbrook -- the avocado town -- so I ordered Dad a guacamole burger and he got really excited. Talking about avocados makes him happy because it is still familiar to him. All the while, Dad is cracking me up. He is so funny it hurts sometimes. Interestingly enough, growing up he had jokes that were dirty or slightly racist and we definitely did not find them funny. (He still makes dirty jokes).

The funny factor comes from the randomness of what he says or the moments of clarity that you don't expect or the old sayings that he makes up on the spot. And it makes him feel so good when he makes you laugh.

After laughing for a few minutes Dad asks, "So when am I gonna die?" Hmmmm. I told him that he is so healthy that he may live for 15 more years (and he will continue to be a pain in the butt). :) He said that someone told him he was dying. Someone probably did, I don't dispute that. He lives with 20 other residents who have Dementia or Alzheimer's -- so there's no question that one of his crazier house-mates probably told him that. I don't know how he drank so much beer his whole life and has turned out so healthy. When I pointed that out to him he said, "I quit that stuff." Right.

Dad loves women. And at Ruby's the waitresses wear those pink and white dresses. After one of them walks by he says with a devilish smile, "Wait, get back here. I wanna talk to you." Good thing she didn't hear him but I am dying laughing because he has his messy guacamole burger that is the size of his head in one hand while simultaneously trying to flirt with the waitress. Who says this guy doesn't have it together?!

When we run out of things to talk about I start pointing out interesting objects around the diner like you would do for a child. Anything to keep him from dwelling on the fact that the place he lives in "locks him up with old people who steal from me". (In his own words). I want to tell him that he takes things that don't belong to him as well, but I refrain. In fact, he is wearing a shirt today that definitely belongs to his roommate Chuck.

After commenting that the 'green burger' 'kicked his ass', we leave to run more errands. I clip his fingernails in the parking lot, he helps me pick out new pillows for my couch, and I take a picture of him wearing these $2.00 children's foam fish sunglasses. (He can't wait to go fishing again. I keep telling him -- Soon!! In June we'll go fishing!)

I take him back to his home -- the part we all dread the most because we never know how he will react. I make him wear his new fish glasses and that gives me a lot of attention which he really likes. Today is a smooth transition. I leave him with all the ladies playing BINGO, which he said he doesn't like playing.

I blow him a kiss and get out of there fast. I feel good. Like I said, today is a good day.