"What's up Dude?"

Megan was down from San Francisco for the past few days, so we paid a visit to Dad.  I said to her before we left the house, "I wonder what Dad will be wearing today...".  You never know.

We walked into Valley View Gardens and found Dad holding a huge tennis shoe in his hand.  (Dad wears a 7 1/2 normally).  We looked down and saw that he had a sock on one foot, and a mismatching tennis shoe on the other foot without a sock.  What is going on here? 

We tried taking the shoe out of his hand (which had the name Carl written inside of it), but he was adamant that it was his.  A little grumpy actually.  At this point, I'm a little annoyed because only a month ago, I bought two new pairs of velcro tennis shoes for Dad and a pair of slippers.  Why isn't he wearing his new shoes?  Or better yet... where is the mate to his shoe?

I guess what happens is that the staff is constantly washing his shoes because he either pees on them, or they begin to stink because they can't get him to wear his socks.  These shoes are from Wal-mart and are only going to hold up to so many washes in the washing machine.

We get to his room but before we can deal with the shoe situation, Dad announces he has to pee.  Megan leads him to the toilet and once he is done, she had a heck of a time getting him to wash his hands.  He kept wanting to hug Megan and said, "But you're so beautiful.  I'm so glad to see you.... etc".  Megan is repeating over and over, "Wash your hands.  Dad, let's wash your hands."  He really can't take any direction at this point.

Getting him to sit on the edge of the bed to put socks on is just as difficult, but Megan is finally able to get socks on both feet and we find the matching shoe.  She is almost about to put it on him when we realize that both shoes are for the Right foot.  Oh man.

All the while, I had been holding baby Emry and Dad finally looks at her and says, "What's up Dude?"  I find it so funny that Dad can most of the time look right through Emry like she's not even there, but then randomly notice her and blurt out whatever is on his mind.  The women residents go crazy over Emry and one kept walking up to us and asking, "How much do you want for him?"  (they all refer to her as a him).  We were cracking up because she would walk away, and then we would see her approaching again and she would throw out the same line.  

Megan told Dad that it was good to see him and he answered, "it goes both ways".  Haha.  He was actually pretty funny yesterday.  As we were about to leave, we see this tall resident with only one shoe on.  We assume he is Carl.  

Below are pictures from our visit with Dad yesterday.  Oh, and he has a new lady friend...

I want to remember every minute of the hour I spent with Dad today. He was so sweet it nearly broke my heart and actually made me cry. I love seeing my Dad happy.

When I first got there he was coming down the hall with a herd of residents getting ready for lunch. Once he saw me, he kept trying to get around the slow old ladies in front of the pack, but he had to wait until there was an opening. With his girlfriend Tabitha at his heels, he finally broke free and came over to hug me. As usual Tabitha said, "She is so pretty. She must look like her mother." Within minutes though, Tabitha's whole family showed up to take her out for lunch for her birthday. She was so moved to see all of them, that she started crying and told me I could take the chair next to my Dad since she will be eating out. She told her family, "That's Dave, he's my boyfriend." And Dad said, "Who? Me?" They crack me up.

Apparently I was the bearer of good news for my Dad who was already in great spirits. I told him that his friend Mike was coming to visit on Tuesday and that Mike was trying to get another mutual friend of theirs to come visit some time as well. Dad has become obsessed with their mutual friend lately and you would have thought that I told him he won the lottery. He was in shock and kept telling me "thank you" and "you did this for me?", and looking at me like I was an angel. Then with tears in his eyes, he grabbed my hand, and said slowly, "I love you so much." Please, break my heart just a little more, Dad.

He went on and on, "I won't spank your butt. I'll probably kiss you..... You are the sweetest girl I ever met in my life.... I'm gonna tie you up and not let you go. No big deal." We also called Megan so she could experience some sweetness and he didn't disappoint.

Part of me is thinking -- I didn't do anything for you to be so grateful, but of course that's not true. Megan and I do everything we can to make him happy, so it was really nice to feel appreciated. And, he has no idea how many people I have contacted and are trying to contact to keep them involved in his life.

Update on The Memory Walk: We've fund-raised about $1000 so far and I know we're still going to do more. Thank you to family and friends who have already donated. I also find it so touching how many acquaintances have been so generous in donating and how many people have donated in honor or memory of a loved one that suffered from Alzheimer's. So many people are affected by this disease. I keep telling people that with a disease that can make you feel so helpless at times, it's nice to feel like we're accomplishing something by fund-raising. I encourage you to donate if you haven't already! Please! You can click on the Memory Walk link under "Helpful Links" to the right to get more information.

Picture above is when Dad told a joke and cracked himself up. Video below is just a taste of how cute Dad was....

You Guessed It, Another Lady Friend

Dad's doing much better this week. We realized after Dad's angry outbursts last week that it had a lot to do with his room being locked during the day.

The reason the staff at Whittier locked his room is because he has another lady friend. I am telling you, he must be coated in sugar or something, because he can't go very long without one of these ladies latching on. This lady is the crazy outgoing one that I talked about a few weeks ago... Tabitha. EVERY TIME I see her and sometimes every ten minutes, she says the EXACT same thing, "Oh, is this your daughter? She's very beautiful. She must look like her mother." Then she laughs. Ouch for Dad.

For the most part, she's very annoying and everything that I say or my Dad says, she turns into a song. It's actually kind of funny cause she snaps her fingers and tries to dance to the song that she made up. I especially like the song entitled, "Let's Go Water The Plants." But hopefully Dad doesn't say anything gross like "There's a Squirt In My Underwear". That probably won't be a #1 hit Tabitha. Anyway, she follows Dad around everywhere and is pretty possessive of him. If we weren't his daughters, she would probably be upset that we are spending time with him. I do think she annoys him sometimes, and the staff makes sure that he doesn't have to spend the entire day with her.

Because of the new lady friend, the staff was worried that the two of them would be 'up to no good' in his room, and since they can't be monitored every minute of the day, they locked Dad out of his room. In Dad's eyes, that meant that everything was stolen from him. As the Director of Memory Care said, "I didn't realize, but by locking his room, I am taking away the only part of this place that is his. I apologize, I will go unlock it right away." Ever since they unlocked the room, he's been back to his normal self.

I also brought him a little pouch of Canadian and Mexican coins that we found in his house. I know he likes to carry it around in his pocket and I think that keeps him happy and distracted.

The Scabies is gone! Finally. When Megan was at the check-up, the hyper Dermatologist came in the room and gave her a boisterous high-five. This doctor is so crazy and he reminds me of our Pastor growing up because they both get very energetic over little things. Then the dermatologist actually scared Megan by whispering in her ear when she was leaving, "I hope my daughter is like you some day." Apparently his kids are going to be our age when he is 70.

Hello Roommate, Goodbye Lady Friend

From the title of this blog, I'm sure you can guess what I am going to write about. This is a funny story, and I love telling funny stories about my Dad.

Megan and I visited Dad the other day because it had been about five days since we'd seen him and he had been feeling anxious. Dad's not having the best week and we can tell the moment we see him. His physical appearance and mannerisms reveal what kind of day he is having. We spotted him walking down the hall, kind of slouching over, looking into people's rooms and down at the floor. When he finally sees us, he immediately tells us that he has to take a poop and a squirt. Well, Hello to you too, Dad. Megan leads him toward his room and I run out to the car to get him a CD to listen to. He is in La La land so I'm hoping the music will wake him up a little.

I get back to the room, and Megan is standing in the doorway of Dad's bathroom holding his underwear out at arm's length and coaching him on how to finish up. We look at each other and immediately start cracking up. It's always so much better when we're visiting together, because we laugh a lot more. Megan says, "Well, I'm so glad that Dad has no problem stripping down in front of me. I just wish I didn't have to hold his dirty underwear." Let's just say that Dad's stomach was a little upset that day.

We head outside to sit in the garden and enjoy the nice weather. We bring some pictures to look at from my Wedding last year. As we're sitting there, Esther (the lady friend) comes over and sits next to Dad. She holds his hand and puts her arm around his shoulder. Like I said before, she doesn't talk. She can only giggle and say "Aye Aye Aye Aye". We found out that she has a frontal lobe dementia that has affected her speech. Dad starts talking to her and she only responds how she can and he looks at us and says, "She's kind of weird, huh? Maybe she's from across the Pond." He thinks she is speaking a foreign language! Then he says, "She must be Canadian." I thought I was going to die of laughter.

After we say bye to Dad, we talk to Lynette, the Head of Whittier Place, because she had requested that we stop by to chat. We find out that Dad is getting a new roommate who is ambulatory, very talkative, and relatively young. She thinks that they are going to be a great fit together but we're a little worried about how Dad will react and we're bracing ourselves for some tough days in the next week.

We also learned that Esther and Dad have been pretty inseparable and that the staff found her in his bed the other night!! She was dressed. He was not. I clap my hand over my mouth. Esther's husband still comes by to visit and now Lynette has to tell him this story as well. The staff separated them and have been monitoring their time together. They're actually worried that Dad is more tired lately because he is constantly walking up and down the halls with Esther--she has a lot of energy and is very clingy and antsy. Apparently he slept until noon earlier in the week! I don't think Dad has ever slept past nine, and he's usually up at seven.

All in all the day turned out to be very amusing, but Dad's not doing well this week. It's difficult for him to keep eye contact or raise his eyes high enough to look into yours. Feeding himself is confusing as well. His words kind of make sense, but his sentences don't. It's still so strange that he can be so bad one day, and then the next day he is normal, healthy, and chatting away.

Two days later, I stopped by and met Dad's new roommate, Ken. He's pretty cute and very talkative. Good cheerful personality. Dad already had some of Ken's clothes hanging in his closet. He was complaining about not having enough clothes, so I guess he went to Ken's store.

Also, Lynette informed me that Esther's husband was moving her out in the next couple days.

In the video below, Dad said that he wanted to go visit his parents and Megan is explaining why he can't do that.

Was it a bad dream?

Was last week a bad dream? It's like it never happened. All the bad stuff that Dad was going through last week is a distant memory. He is having a great week. I think it's because Dad doesn't have a roommate anymore, but with this disease, sometimes there's just no reason for any of it. When we visit him, he's happy and I don't get any calls about him being anxious or trying to jump the fence. So, since Dad is having a great week, that means that Megan and I get to have a great week too! Gosh, it feels soooo good.

Seriously, the Dad I see this week is healthier, younger, funnier, and more helpful. I didn't have to tell him how to do anything. He helped me push the cart at Target and knew how to put the cart back in one of those cart corrals in the parking lot. I made him a new mixed CD with oldies songs from the 50s and 60s and he knew them all before the lyrics even started! We sang along to "Wake-up Little Susie", "Tell Him", "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", "Bye, Bye, Love" "Big Girls Don't Cry". This brought me back to my past because I have memories of Megan and I dancing around to "Wake-up Little Susie" in the living room and I sang "Yakety Yak" in the 3rd grade talent show. He introduced us to all those songs, so they have a special place in my heart.

ALSO, Dad has a new lady friend! He had a lady friend when he first moved into Whittier Place, but I think he found her too bossy, so that didn't last very long. When I went to visit him yesterday, he was sitting next to this lady and I heard him say, "I'll be right back." I'm thinking... who is he talking to? He never makes an effort to have friends at Whittier. Dad and I were going to get lunch and before we left, this lady comes over and holds his hand. Her name is Esther and she doesn't really talk... just giggles and smiles. Perfect for Dad!!!! That's probably why he likes her. Apparently they walk up and down the hallways holding hands.

I absolutely know that these good days won't last forever and that he will never get 'better', but there's no reason that I can't enjoy them to the fullest. I would give anything to have a million more days like this with Dad and I am so happy to be writing about them so that I can remember these days during the dark times that I know will come.