Crab Bottom

I love the title of this blog because Dad used to call
Megan a 'Crab Bottom' every time she was grumpy. If you know Megan, she's not really a morning person and Dad would try to get her out of bed early and she would not do it. (He also called her 'Dungeon Breath' in the morning. He loved to tease her.)

Okay, enough of Memory Lane. Crab Bottom should be Dad's middle name lately. It's been 2-3 weeks of him being more grumpy than happy. I'm training for a new job this week, so Megan has been dealing with him -- calming him down over the phone and visiting. When she arrived today, Dad was standing in the dining room yelling at the Director of Memory Care and brandishing his address book, "There are all these people who want to see me!" Then he started naming all these people from his past. The director was so relieved to see Megan. I wonder how long they had been having that 'conversation' in the dining room.

As usual he kept saying that people were taking things from him and how he wanted to get out of there BLAH BLAH BLAH.... we know Dad! Then he would obsessively pull out coins from one pocket and put them in another pocket.

After trying to reassure Dad that all of his stuff was still in his room, Megan decided to call Dad's brother Doug. Until last year, Dad and Doug hardly talked. Sometimes 10 years would go by and they wouldn't talk. Don't get me started on the family relations on Dad's side. It's a mess. The important thing is that they started talking again and I called him a couple weeks ago to tell him where Dad was living.

Megan said the conversation went pretty well and Doug wants us to write him a letter with all the information about where Dad lives, so that's just what they did when they got off the phone.

Dad was able to write Doug's name (it looks like a child's hand-writing) and tried to write Brandt but it came out like this: brant d
Not too bad. He told Megan what he wanted to say:
'Doug, Let's get together. From Brother Dave.'

Brother Dave. I just think that's the cutest thing ever.

Dad has a new roommate too which I think is contributing to his grumpy mood. He'll get over it, I hope.

I know we're doing our part to accommodate Dad and to keep his family and friends in the loop, but some days I feel bad that we can't take him to see more people. Our Grandma Olive, Dad's stepmother, is still living in Upland and I feel the need to do a reunion soon. I want to give Dad whatever closure he can get from seeing some of his people again because we all know that it's quite possible there won't be many more visits. People are busy, Dad's getting worse... etc. Maybe I want the closure for him-- Or, at least, I want to feel that we gave him that option. So, next on the list is getting him up to see his extended family in Upland. We'll just have to make the time to do it. (Megan stole his address book today, so we can try to get in touch with more people.)

Hello Roommate, Goodbye Lady Friend

From the title of this blog, I'm sure you can guess what I am going to write about. This is a funny story, and I love telling funny stories about my Dad.

Megan and I visited Dad the other day because it had been about five days since we'd seen him and he had been feeling anxious. Dad's not having the best week and we can tell the moment we see him. His physical appearance and mannerisms reveal what kind of day he is having. We spotted him walking down the hall, kind of slouching over, looking into people's rooms and down at the floor. When he finally sees us, he immediately tells us that he has to take a poop and a squirt. Well, Hello to you too, Dad. Megan leads him toward his room and I run out to the car to get him a CD to listen to. He is in La La land so I'm hoping the music will wake him up a little.

I get back to the room, and Megan is standing in the doorway of Dad's bathroom holding his underwear out at arm's length and coaching him on how to finish up. We look at each other and immediately start cracking up. It's always so much better when we're visiting together, because we laugh a lot more. Megan says, "Well, I'm so glad that Dad has no problem stripping down in front of me. I just wish I didn't have to hold his dirty underwear." Let's just say that Dad's stomach was a little upset that day.

We head outside to sit in the garden and enjoy the nice weather. We bring some pictures to look at from my Wedding last year. As we're sitting there, Esther (the lady friend) comes over and sits next to Dad. She holds his hand and puts her arm around his shoulder. Like I said before, she doesn't talk. She can only giggle and say "Aye Aye Aye Aye". We found out that she has a frontal lobe dementia that has affected her speech. Dad starts talking to her and she only responds how she can and he looks at us and says, "She's kind of weird, huh? Maybe she's from across the Pond." He thinks she is speaking a foreign language! Then he says, "She must be Canadian." I thought I was going to die of laughter.

After we say bye to Dad, we talk to Lynette, the Head of Whittier Place, because she had requested that we stop by to chat. We find out that Dad is getting a new roommate who is ambulatory, very talkative, and relatively young. She thinks that they are going to be a great fit together but we're a little worried about how Dad will react and we're bracing ourselves for some tough days in the next week.

We also learned that Esther and Dad have been pretty inseparable and that the staff found her in his bed the other night!! She was dressed. He was not. I clap my hand over my mouth. Esther's husband still comes by to visit and now Lynette has to tell him this story as well. The staff separated them and have been monitoring their time together. They're actually worried that Dad is more tired lately because he is constantly walking up and down the halls with Esther--she has a lot of energy and is very clingy and antsy. Apparently he slept until noon earlier in the week! I don't think Dad has ever slept past nine, and he's usually up at seven.

All in all the day turned out to be very amusing, but Dad's not doing well this week. It's difficult for him to keep eye contact or raise his eyes high enough to look into yours. Feeding himself is confusing as well. His words kind of make sense, but his sentences don't. It's still so strange that he can be so bad one day, and then the next day he is normal, healthy, and chatting away.

Two days later, I stopped by and met Dad's new roommate, Ken. He's pretty cute and very talkative. Good cheerful personality. Dad already had some of Ken's clothes hanging in his closet. He was complaining about not having enough clothes, so I guess he went to Ken's store.

Also, Lynette informed me that Esther's husband was moving her out in the next couple days.

In the video below, Dad said that he wanted to go visit his parents and Megan is explaining why he can't do that.

HOORAY!!!!!!!!!

DAD HAD A GREAT DAY TODAY!!!! HOORAY!!! And to top it off, today was Father's Day. He was in a wonderful mood. He was silly, and super sweet, and loving. Megan and I both went to visit him and even though we were only there for an hour, we had fun with him. I'm so happy! It really made my day.

ALSO, Dad's roommate, Chuck, is gone. We think he may have been moved to a nursing home. Dad really kind of hated his roommate and I think that may have played a part in his good mood today. He also alluded that Chuck may have come over and hit him and it's possible that there was some sort of confrontation which may have led to him being moved out of the place (I have no idea if this is really true but Dad kept talking about some guy coming over and hitting him). Poor Chuck was having a difficult time and is much more advanced in the disease than my Dad is. So, Dad is in a room all by himself for the time being and he seems really happy about it. I don't think he even noticed that his roommate moved out.

I was in such a dark place two days ago. I am so happy to be writing about a happy event and I feel like I should be apologizing for writing such dismal blogs lately. There's only so much that someone can take and I think I reached my limits a few days ago. At least I know what those limits are now. I am going to stay positive and wait for the next good day. That's really all you can do with this disease.

Below is a video of Dad and Megan. She's explaining that today is Father's Day. He's so cute and sweet.

The Smell Of Pee

Dad's room smells like Pee. Constantly. Some days are so bad that you can smell his room down the hall and you start choking. We do know that his roommate Chuck has some bowel issues. On the day after Dad moved in, Megan caught his roommate standing in the middle of the doorway to their room and peeing... ON THE CARPET. Since then, my Dad has actually wet the bed a couple of times and I think once mistook his closet as the bathroom in the middle of the night. He seems to be doing much better now. But the smell is still there. Constantly.

Most days I don't want to go in his room, but it's always good to check out what's going on in there. His room is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get. :) Actually, chocolate is not quite the right word... maybe an old attic or something. When I walked in, his desk lamp was on the floor of the bedroom, his CD player wasn't working anymore, and he had a collection of Christmas cards on his dresser that belonged to someone else. Just like an old attic, right?

Dad had so many clothes in his closet today and I was able to identify about half of the items as Chuck's. I'm sure it does get confusing when you see two closets in your bedroom and you think that you can pick clothes from either one. The last piece of clothing that I picked up from the bottom of the closet was wet and I'm pretty sure it was pee that I was touching. Gross.

Anyway, we went to Wal-Mart to get him a new belt and a new laundry basket. (This past week Dad has been packing up his things to "move to LA" as one of the nurses told me, so I have no idea where his belts are and he obviously doesn't remember.) He was in a great mood and we listened to the Beach Boys on the way. You should hear him sing the high notes!

Dad used to work at Wal-Mart so he likes going there. In the video I posted today he comes up with the idea that maybe he could start working there again but then gets side-tracked cause he starts checking out this girl in the parking lot who is wearing short shorts. "Booty shot" he calls it. And then I make fun of him and he says, "Oh, Dirty Dave. Yeah, I'm kind of looney. Classified." Haha. Yes Dad, you are looney and a little dirty!

We get back to his home in Whittier and I am ready to spray the room from top to bottom with the new air freshener that we bought. We walk into the room and I see Chuck laying face down on the floor with a swivel chair half on top of him. Of course, I check to see that he can hear me and then I run for help. My Dad says, "What happened? What's wrong?" as I'm running away. It doesn't occur to him that Chuck fell down and probably hit his head. I don't think he even noticed him on the ground.

I knew now that I was going to be late for work. As I rushed to leave, I spent the last few minutes rubbing 1% Hydrocortisone on my Dad's back because he has an itchy rash. Guess we'll be taking him to the doctor on Monday. Before I left, I saw the nurse shut the window in their bedroom. Oh Goodie, she is trapping the pee smell in the room!!