The small pleasures and the big

If Alzheimer's has an upside, I would say it's forcing us to reconnect with the small pleasures in daily life that we often overlook.  Like a car ride for example.  I took Dad to an appointment the other day, and while most of us hate getting in the car to fight traffic and rush along with the other million drivers on the road, to Dad this ride was a simple pleasure.  It must be like when you buy a new car and can't wait for that first time behind the wheel.  There's an excitement and exhilaration and an utter happiness.  That car ride had that effect on Dad.  I couldn't remember the last time I smiled so much while with him.

Let's not leave out the most important part of the car ride... the music.  Some Frank Sinatra, Peggy Lee, and Ray Charles (which really made us boogie).  Dad even drummed his hands on the dashboard to one of Ray's songs.  My Mom was following us and could see us bopping our heads to the music.  

So, in turn, Dad's small pleasures turned into my small pleasures as I was able to enjoy a wonderful morning with my Dad.  I would call that a small pleasure in most people's lives, but not ours.

The big pleasures don't usually creep up on us as much as the small ones do.  You can see them coming because most of the time, you've worked hard for them.  Our big pleasure was participating in the Long Beach Alzheimer's Walk this past Sunday and becoming the highest fund-raising family team!  What a moment.  I almost got a little emotional.  We made this all happen by just asking for the help and support of friends and loved ones... And they were kind enough to oblige.  We can't thank everyone enough.  We've made a statement that Alzheimer's can't keep us down, and by doing this walk and fund-raising for the cause, we will eventually beat this terrible disease.  Because honestly, more and more people will start developing Alzheimer's, and it will come down to families and friends fighting for their loved ones.  Nothing is stronger than that.

Below is our Upside to Dementia team photo and a video of us winning our fund-raising prize!!!  

Arrrrr, Matey!!!

How much do I love my Dad? Well, I went to Party City to find him a costume two days before Halloween. If you know what Party City is like before Halloween, then you know how much I love my Dad. That place was insane.

I ended up getting him some Pirate accessories and Blake had a red shirt for him. Whittier place was putting on a murder mystery with live entertainment and cookies and treats! The place was decorated with Spider Webs, Flying Ghosts, Blacked out Windows, Strobe Lights, Music and we ended up dancing to "The Monster Mash", "Purple People Eater", "Old Devil Moon", and "The Addams Family". We had a blast singing and dancing to all the songs. As you can see from the pictures, he had a pirate hook in his hand and his favorite joke of the day was, "I'm a hooker!" Hahahaha. Good old Dad.

Afterwards, Dad was getting grumpy and anxious about his living situation-- the usual complaints and then the conversation turned to Paula and he asked, "Do you know Paula?"

"Yes, Dad, she's my Mom." He's so worried that she is out there looking for him. Telling him that she's out of town doesn't really work either. The day turned from delightful to annoying in 5 minutes time. I did what I could to pacify him and then got out of there before he got more anxious.

Below is a video of Dad dancing to the "Monster Mash". Right at the end of the video, Dad's girlfriend Tabitha comes over to start dancing with him....

Dermatologist

So the dermatologist thinks Dad has scabies, EVEN THOUGH, Dad has already done the treatment for it, and no one else has gotten it (it's pretty contagious), and the health dept said that it wasn't Scabies. He even did a skin scraping and looked at it under the microscope and didn't see anything. Regardless, the dermatologist said he had to follow his gut feeling... Scabies. I believe him, I guess. We have another appointment in two weeks so if the rash is still there he'll have to try something different.

He prescribed an oral medication because he said that the creams aren't strong enough and that's probably why it didn't work the first time. They also gave Dad a shot in the butt to help the swelling and itch. He also said he's seen cases where a married couple can sleep in the same bed every night and only one person will have Scabies. And just because they scraped the skin, doesn't mean a bug got picked up in that specific scrape, so it's possible that they wouldn't see anything under the microscope.

Whittier Place had called me that morning to say that Dad hadn't been sleeping really at all. (No wonder he'd been falling asleep in the middle of the day lately.) The other day I was driving Dad somewhere and when the light turned green and I stepped on the gas, Dad gasped so loud. Apparently he had fallen asleep and then was scared when we suddenly started moving again. The Derm suggested that the itch could be keeping him up at night, and he also prescribed a prescription strength Benadryl that should help.

Below are two of the CUTEST videos of Dad EVER... singing Ray Charles' "Georgia" and "I Got A Woman".... while waiting for the Dermatologist...

Was it a bad dream?

Was last week a bad dream? It's like it never happened. All the bad stuff that Dad was going through last week is a distant memory. He is having a great week. I think it's because Dad doesn't have a roommate anymore, but with this disease, sometimes there's just no reason for any of it. When we visit him, he's happy and I don't get any calls about him being anxious or trying to jump the fence. So, since Dad is having a great week, that means that Megan and I get to have a great week too! Gosh, it feels soooo good.

Seriously, the Dad I see this week is healthier, younger, funnier, and more helpful. I didn't have to tell him how to do anything. He helped me push the cart at Target and knew how to put the cart back in one of those cart corrals in the parking lot. I made him a new mixed CD with oldies songs from the 50s and 60s and he knew them all before the lyrics even started! We sang along to "Wake-up Little Susie", "Tell Him", "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", "Bye, Bye, Love" "Big Girls Don't Cry". This brought me back to my past because I have memories of Megan and I dancing around to "Wake-up Little Susie" in the living room and I sang "Yakety Yak" in the 3rd grade talent show. He introduced us to all those songs, so they have a special place in my heart.

ALSO, Dad has a new lady friend! He had a lady friend when he first moved into Whittier Place, but I think he found her too bossy, so that didn't last very long. When I went to visit him yesterday, he was sitting next to this lady and I heard him say, "I'll be right back." I'm thinking... who is he talking to? He never makes an effort to have friends at Whittier. Dad and I were going to get lunch and before we left, this lady comes over and holds his hand. Her name is Esther and she doesn't really talk... just giggles and smiles. Perfect for Dad!!!! That's probably why he likes her. Apparently they walk up and down the hallways holding hands.

I absolutely know that these good days won't last forever and that he will never get 'better', but there's no reason that I can't enjoy them to the fullest. I would give anything to have a million more days like this with Dad and I am so happy to be writing about them so that I can remember these days during the dark times that I know will come.

The Smell Of Pee

Dad's room smells like Pee. Constantly. Some days are so bad that you can smell his room down the hall and you start choking. We do know that his roommate Chuck has some bowel issues. On the day after Dad moved in, Megan caught his roommate standing in the middle of the doorway to their room and peeing... ON THE CARPET. Since then, my Dad has actually wet the bed a couple of times and I think once mistook his closet as the bathroom in the middle of the night. He seems to be doing much better now. But the smell is still there. Constantly.

Most days I don't want to go in his room, but it's always good to check out what's going on in there. His room is like a box of chocolates... you never know what you're gonna get. :) Actually, chocolate is not quite the right word... maybe an old attic or something. When I walked in, his desk lamp was on the floor of the bedroom, his CD player wasn't working anymore, and he had a collection of Christmas cards on his dresser that belonged to someone else. Just like an old attic, right?

Dad had so many clothes in his closet today and I was able to identify about half of the items as Chuck's. I'm sure it does get confusing when you see two closets in your bedroom and you think that you can pick clothes from either one. The last piece of clothing that I picked up from the bottom of the closet was wet and I'm pretty sure it was pee that I was touching. Gross.

Anyway, we went to Wal-Mart to get him a new belt and a new laundry basket. (This past week Dad has been packing up his things to "move to LA" as one of the nurses told me, so I have no idea where his belts are and he obviously doesn't remember.) He was in a great mood and we listened to the Beach Boys on the way. You should hear him sing the high notes!

Dad used to work at Wal-Mart so he likes going there. In the video I posted today he comes up with the idea that maybe he could start working there again but then gets side-tracked cause he starts checking out this girl in the parking lot who is wearing short shorts. "Booty shot" he calls it. And then I make fun of him and he says, "Oh, Dirty Dave. Yeah, I'm kind of looney. Classified." Haha. Yes Dad, you are looney and a little dirty!

We get back to his home in Whittier and I am ready to spray the room from top to bottom with the new air freshener that we bought. We walk into the room and I see Chuck laying face down on the floor with a swivel chair half on top of him. Of course, I check to see that he can hear me and then I run for help. My Dad says, "What happened? What's wrong?" as I'm running away. It doesn't occur to him that Chuck fell down and probably hit his head. I don't think he even noticed him on the ground.

I knew now that I was going to be late for work. As I rushed to leave, I spent the last few minutes rubbing 1% Hydrocortisone on my Dad's back because he has an itchy rash. Guess we'll be taking him to the doctor on Monday. Before I left, I saw the nurse shut the window in their bedroom. Oh Goodie, she is trapping the pee smell in the room!!