That's a New One

I'm sure you're all sitting on pins and needles waiting to hear how my Dad is doing!  Or maybe you've been relieved not to see an upsetting blog post.  Needless to say, here's the latest update...

I had Dad's two week assessment yesterday via phone.  During the past two weeks, I have been in contact with the home and visited Dad as well and everything appeared to be just fine.  But, it seems Dad is showing his true colors.

What I really like about this home, is that the caregivers work as a team.  On the phone yesterday was the Psychologist, the Dietician, the Caregivers, the Activity Coordinator etc.  So each person had their turn to let me know how he is adjusting.  

The main concern seem to be his incontinence.  Dad and his urination!  We didn't keep this a secret when he moved in, and warned the staff that they will need to prompt him to use the toilet every couple of hours to prevent erratic urination.  I guess they weren't really implementing that system the past two weeks.  So, when they caught him urinating twice yesterday and tried to redirect him, he responded by hitting one nurse in the chest and another nurse in the face.  (two different incidents)

Then they asked me, "Has he ever tried to pick up his feces?"  Well, that's a new one!  I was trying to picture him reaching into the toilet when they informed me that he reaches into his pants (and into his adult diaper), pulls out the feces, and drops it on the ground.  Oh.  Gross.

I was under the impression that he usually used the toilet for this type of thing, but I'm sure with the confusion of a new home and new staff, he has started going in his pants which feels very uncomfortable for him (obviously).  This is how I responded, "Well, apparently he is 'with it' enough to know that he is uncomfortable and tries to solve the problem by putting his hand down there, but he is not 'with it' enough to get to the bathroom in time."  I'm not really sure there is a solution to this problem.  Hopefully the staff will keep prompting him to use the toilet and that will help.

The other main concern is Dad's aggression and hitting.  I don't have any solution to that problem, but when I visited him today, the psychologist informed me that they were having another team meeting today but this time with the Doctors.  Dad's medicine has been helping so much, but there could always be that perfect cocktail of drugs that could help even more.  I guess we'll see.

I could tell the psychologist is a little worried about Dad's behavior, especially the hitting.  But he kept telling me not to worry and that an adjustment period is completely normal.  I just don't want Dad to get kicked out.  

Here is a picture of Dad's peekaboo Ocean View from his room:

The Final Stop

Yesterday was my Dad's last moving day ever.  He is now at his final stop... The Veteran's Home of California West Los Angeles (near Wilshire and the 405, for those of you not familiar with the area, it is just east of Santa Monica). 

He was in bright spirits as we sat in LA traffic listening to Rosemary Clooney, Frank Sinatra, and Ray Charles, and continued to be happy throughout the hour and a half of paperwork.  We shared a Valentine's Day doughnut and he sipped his coffee with a pleasant smile on his face.  

The entire building is beautiful, state of the art, and everywhere you look, there are huge windows with quintessential views of Los Angeles -- palm trees, greenery, hills, spanish-style buildings, and a little bit of haze of course.  On a good day, you can see the ocean and all the way to Palos Verdes from Dad's new room which is basically a square area with a hospital style bed since he is technically living within the skilled nursing portion of the housing.  But, he has a flat screen TV in his room.  Too bad, he'll never use it.

We met with the Nurses and Doctors to go over Dad's health history and his family history.  Around that time, my Mom arrived after battling for over 3 hours in LA traffic to lend a helping hand.  And by lunchtime, Dad was starting to get anxious.  

I had run out to my car, and when I came back I could hear my Mom trying to pacify Dad before I even joined them in the dining room.  He was done eating, done sitting, and done being told what to do.  He kept trying to grab random silverware and plates from other tables.  As I was scarfing down my food, I suggested that they take a walk outside.  Sometimes the best thing to do is let him walk it off.  At this point, he was becoming distrustful of us and would not listen to our directions, so we were basically following him.

That's when we realized he had not received his morning meds or his mid-day meds.  After coaxing him into an elevator, we got him back up to the Doctor's office.  Since they had not written any orders for his meds, and he was not in their system yet, they could not administer the pills to him. 

Originally, the entire moving process was supposed to be completed by 2:00, so instead of cancelling my afternoon performance with The Sassy Songbirds, my Mom and I agreed that she could handle the last hour and make sure he was unpacked.  So, by 1:00, my anxious and aggravated Dad had not started unpacking, had not begun his physical, and was still a few hours away from being all settled in.  

With a pit in my stomach, I left the two of them there.  I think by 2:00, they administered Dad's medicine, and in the meantime tried to perform a physical on him where he fought the nurse, the doctor, and my Mom the entire time.  They finally gave up on finishing the exam.  By 3:00, the meds were kicking in and my Dad helped my Mom unpack his suitcase.  She was out of there by 4:00, and sat in two more hours of traffic before she got to my house for a quick glass of wine. 

What a crazy and exhausting day.  It worries me that the staff witnessed Dad's bad side on his first day of being there.  But, they also saw how his meds do seem to regulate his moods and behavior, so that is good.  As usual, all we do now is wait.  

I did read a clause during all my paperwork signing that informed me of a 60 day probationary period to make sure Dad is a good fit with the home.  I didn't ask for any details, and I hope that I never have to hear about it again.  This has got to be Dad's final stop.

The financial aspect of this entire process is very interesting (in a good way), but I will have to share that in a separate post, because it's a lot to take in.  In the meantime, here are some photos from Dad's new home:

 The Entrance to Dad's Home

 Dad's room

 One of the outdoor spaces.

Gorgeous Los Angeles views seen from almost every window!

This is BIG

Okay people... this is big news!  Bigger than the Inauguration, Bigger than the Super Bowl, Bigger than Awards Season.... even bigger than my 20 pound cat!

Drum roll please... 
Dad has an admission date for the West Los Angeles VA!

I called last week and left the following message at the admissions office.... "Hello, this is Kristen Hardin and I am calling regarding my Dad, Melvin Brandt.  He is on the wait list for the Memory Care Facility and I am hoping for some more specifics on when he may be admitted.  I contacted my congressman this morning and am scheduling an appointment with his office to discuss how he can facilitate this process as well.  Please let me know what information I can bring to him so that he can be the most helpful to this situation.  Thank you."

I got a call the very next day saying they were going to review his file and call me no later than next Friday (today).  Sure enough, the phone rang today and she was delighted to give the good news of an admission date for my Dad.  He is very lucky because after him, they will have admitted the first 30 residents and will be stopping the admissions process for an undetermined amount of time.

The date is February 14th, V-day.  (V for Veteran of course!)

2012 in Pictures

 Dad became a Grandpa!

Celebrating a great assessment at the West Los Angeles VA

1st of 3 Staph Infections this year

Getting kicked out of the cheaper facility we tried to move him to

Dad's black eye and head bump from his time in the Geriatric Psych Ward

Crawling, not walking, because of his new Meds

Having a sweet moment with Megan

Celebrating at Dad's Christmas Party!

Christmas Past

I think about Dad the most this time of year. It's no secret that Dad wasn't the easiest or nicest person to be around growing up, but somehow when Christmas rolled around, that person disappeared for a little while. He wanted to bring a wonderful Christmas to our home. In the time we all lived under one roof, Dad succeeded at this. 

He was always the first person awake and waiting for us to peak around the corner to see what Santa brought us. He loved opening presents as much as we did. He was like a kid. Shaking packages and making guesses as to what was inside. One piece of tape at a time - no one ever opened presents as slowly as Dad did. Sometimes we had to lend a hand to speed up the process. I remember we would stick bows to the top of his slightly balding head. Afterwards, he filled our breakfast plates with a stack of our french toast tradition. It was my favorite day of the year.

When we got older and Dad lived on his own, he still came over for Christmas day. I woke up early, waiting by the window for his truck to appear in the driveway. I knew he was the signal for Christmas to start. He still took his sweet time unwrapping presents and cried every time we gave him a framed picture of me and my sister. He spent the day with us but it was always sad to see him go home to an empty house. 

Next week will be our 4th Christmas without Dad. I don't know if Christmas will ever feel the same without him. Thankfully, these memories of Dad are real. I cling to them tight because that's all I can do. Our family continues to make new traditions and this year is the first Christmas with my sweet niece, Emry. I wish so much she could experience Grandpa like we did on Christmas day, but we will make sure to carry on traditions of Christmas past.

Life moves fast and things can change with the blink of an eye. Be sure to pause and take in moments with the ones you love this Christmas because you never know when a memory is all you have left of someone. 

-Megan

Some things never change. Bows on Dad's head a couple Christmases ago.

Merry Christmas!

My Wish...

With the big holiday fast approaching, here is my wish for everyone this holiday season... 
Sit down with your Parents and Grandparents and ask them about their life, their childhood, their favorite memories, or their favorite recipe... Whatever it may be, take the chance to savor and learn about whatever it is that makes them who they are!  You never know when those loved ones will be taken from you physically or mentally.

Merry Christmas Dad

I am happy to share that I had a wonderful time with my Dad yesterday!  Valley View Gardens was having their huge family Christmas Party, and I was the singing entertainment.  Honestly, I didn't think my Dad would even notice that I was singing and I imagined him wandering off, losing interest, or even just falling asleep in his chair.  That was not the case at all.  My dad, the ham, made an appearance yesterday and it sent my heart soaring!

Right before I started singing, the Director introduced me and then gave a shout out to my Dad which resulted in applause from the audience.  Noticing the clapping, my Dad raised his head, looked around, and then put both hands to his mouth and blew a huge kiss to everyone.  The place erupted in laughter.  I think my mouth dropped open.  He was so alert and so funny.  It's been months since I've seen him that way.

Throughout the performance, Dad would smile at me, nod his head, raise his eyebrows up and down and then eventually started dancing and singing.  At one point we were holding hands and swaying to The Christmas Song... I think the lyrics were "And so I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from 1 to 92...." and I lost it.  The tears were suddenly in my eyes, and I just pulled Dad into a hug and we danced.  I didn't care who was watching, all I could think was how tough this year was.  So often the doctor's appointments and errands get in the way of quality time with him and he becomes a "patient" instead of my Dad.  When was the last time that we just had fun together?

So, Christmas came early for me and my Dad.  I know how blessed I am to have had that moment with him yesterday.  Those tidbits are few and far between now, but thanks to this blog, I'll be able to look back at this day and remember it vividly.   

Merry Christmas to everyone who supports us and follows our story.  Let me end this post with a little bit of 'baby love'.  :)

Too Doped Up

From the title of this blog, I'm sure you can guess what I'm going to write about.  Dad's too doped up.  He is on so much medication that he is losing his motor skills and is sleeping too much.  He is unable to feed himself now and he has resorted to crawling on the ground sometimes instead of walking.  When the staff told me about that latter incident, I knew we had to take action and that meant going to the ER again.  (meanwhile, the staff at Valley View suspended some of his medication because they were also concerned)

We arrived at the ER yesterday around noon and didn't end up leaving until after 4.  Everyone at the VA is so incredibly helpful and nice to my Dad, but the waiting just takes a toll.  My Mom showed up and took baby duty in the waiting room while I stayed in the ER with my Dad.  Let me just say though, Dad was 'with it' enough to get mad at me a few times yesterday.  Understandably, we were all tired of waiting, but Dad just wanted to pace around and kept going into the nurses station.  When I tried to stop him he said, "I'm not going nowhere.  Shut up."  I literally laughed out loud.  Wow!  That sentence made perfect sense.  Then when he noticed that I had resorted to just following him around the ER, he told me under his breath that I was pissing him off.  My response?  "You're pissing me off too Dad!"

Finally, we were sent to the Psych office.  The main objective was to get the dosage of his Depakote Prescription lowered significantly and that did get accomplished.  By that time, Emry was ready for her next meal and way overdue for a nap, so my mom and I switched duties and she got my Dad back to Valley View Gardens safely.

It's going to take a while for the Depakote to start diminishing in his system.  When I stopped by Valley View to drop off his prescription this morning, I found my Dad on all fours in the dining room.  He is so confused and once he's down there, he can't get up.  On the other hand, he is now able to pick up his fork, but instead of using it to eat, he tried to poke the nurse with it when she attempted to take it away from him.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  

On another note, The Alzheimer's Association had me come back to their office to speak to their Board of Directors on Monday.  After sharing my Dad's story, one woman said, "Wow, you're 29.  That's what we need.  We need young people to care about this disease."  I couldn't agree more.

Long Beach Walk to End Alzheimer's

As many of you know, I was Co-Chair for the 2012 Long Beach Walk to End Alzheimer's and the fabulous news is.... the walk was a success!

Last year's goal was to raise $100,000 and we met it....
This year's goal was to raise $120,000 and we are currently at $127,000 and counting!

As a team, our goal was to raise $5000.  Ten days before the walk, we were at $3900 and we made one more push - emailed friends, family, co-workers- and as of today, we raised (drum roll please).... $5865!!  (And my neighbor will try to get his employer (Exxon Mobil) to match his donation and so our total should be just over $6000!)  AMAZING!!!!!!!!

I just want to extend a HUGE Thank you to everyone who pitched in and supported us!  I also want to thank everyone who walked with us... we had people come from San Diego to San Fransisco join us on the walk!  We are very blessed.

During my time as Co-Chair, I was able to meet many wonderful people associated with The Southland Chapter of the Alzheimer's Association and they invited to come speak at their All-Staff meeting earlier this week.  At the end of their meetings, they like to inspire the staff with a personal story.  I was extremely excited and honored to share our story two days ago at the Los Angeles Office.  I spoke about my Dad, the financial toll it's taken on our family, and even read some excerpts from my past blogs. 

When I was writing my speech, I researched what the Association and our country have accomplished toward the fight against Alzheimer's.  I would like to share a few of these accomplishments:
First of all, almost right away, President Obama lifted the (Bush) ban on federal resources going towards Stem Cell Research.  Next, with the urging of the Alzheimer's Assoc., he signed the National Alzheimer's Project Act, and lastly he is pushing for $156 Million increase in funding over the next two years to battle the disease (this amount of money is nothing compared to the debilitating cost our country will face in the future as more and more people are diagnosed with the disease).  These are STUNNING accomplishments in only the last couple years.  So, needless to say, I am happy about the outcome of this election, and I am hopeful for a future without Alzheimer's.

My Audience at the Alzheimer's Association:

73

Happy Birthday Dad.  Today you are 73 years old.  In the past year you became a Grandpa but you also had many mishaps and challenges as your Alzheimer's disease is battling to take over.  We miss you so much.

We've resigned ourselves to the fact that you have succumbed to Alzheimer's and most days are just business as usual.  But, I always find myself grieving on November 4th.  Because it's your day, Dad.  And it's okay to grieve once in a while.  

So, today Megan and I both shed a tear for you.  We love you and miss you.

I'm not Holding my Breath

So, as I stated a couple weeks ago, the West Los Angeles VA home has opened and since Dad is only number 13 on the list, we are hoping for the move to happen soon.  Unfortunately when I called for an update last week, I was told that they are going to stop at #10 because they need to hire more staff.  
It was all I could do to keep it together on the phone.  Who knows how long this newest hiccup can set us back.  I let the woman know (again) that Dad has a high financial need and that this whole situation sounds like really bad news.  By the end of the conversation, she assured me that they were already starting the hiring process.  She also said that since he is number 13, that he will hopefully be moving in within a month or so.  (That sounds naively optimistic to me).  I'm not holding my breath.

5 days away...

We are five days away from the Long Beach "Walk to End Alzheimer's" and team UpsidetoDementia has surpassed it's goal of raising $5000!  $5150 raised so far and 25 team members signed up!  It's our biggest group yet!  In addition to being a team captain with my Sister, I am also the co-chair for the walk and will be MC'ing the entire event on Saturday.

Our fundraiser at a local restaurant called McKenna's on the Bay was a huge success and we raised about $950 for the team.  Donations have been pouring in from all over... Family members, Friends and Facebook Friends, OneHope Wine employees, my Mom's Bunco and Bible Study groups.  I even have friends who are asking their classmates or family members to help out as well.  THANK YOU to everyone for their support and donations!

This pictures is from our fundraiser.  More pictures and details to come after the walk!  And, we will have a grand total of money raised as well!  It feels good to fight the good fight.  

p.s.  Not a peep from Dad since he got back from the Psych Ward.  :)

Just A Little Bump

I picked Dad up from the Psych Ward today.  He had been there for 8 days.  I talked to the Doctor a couple of days ago to get an update and learned that Dad had fallen down which resulted in a bump on his head.  They did a CT scan and everything was fine, but I definitely wasn't expecting to see him look like this when I got there today:

Talk about a bump!  And what about that Black Eye?  Apparently they were doing rounds in the middle of the night, and found him on the floor of his room.  I guess he fell out of bed or was trying to walk around in the dark and knocked into something and then fell.  Anyway, it's nothing serious and at least he seems happy, but he looks pretty beat up.  The good news is that Dad seemed more focused and responsive today than he has in a long time. 

Okay, so let's talk Meds.  The Doctor told me he put Dad on Namenda which is an Alzheimer's drug... but a step up from Aricept.  It's used for the later stages of dementia.  He also put Dad on Depakote (Valproic Acid) to help control the moods or mood swings... it is sometimes used in ADHD kids to help control outbursts and aggression... so that seems to make sense for Dad.

Then he gave Dad a Haldol Dec... which is a shot of Haloperidol that Dad would get once a month.  This is an anti-psychotic.  There is a warning against using it on Dementia patients, but there was also a warning on Seroquel and he has been on that for about a year now.  On top of helping with hallucinations and uncontrollable motor and verbal tics, Haloperidol is also used to treat confusion and difficulty thinking and understanding that is caused by severe physical or mental illness.

And he still has Dad on Seroquel, but reduced the dosage to just 25 mg/day.

 

The problem now is getting the Meds.  Since this doctor is not associated with the VA, I'm not sure how to get the meds switched over into the VA system.  For the moment, we are just going to pay out of pocket and when Dad moves to Los Angeles, he will get a whole new set of Doctors and we can deal with it then.  BUT, the drug Namenda is $300!!!  The charge nurse at Valley View Gardens thinks that since Dad is in such an advanced stage of Alzheimer's, this drug is not necessary and since it's so expensive, we are going to drop it for the moment.  Depakote is $95, so that's not bad and it's the most important.

Let's hope these new drugs and adjustments help. 

Woo Hoo!

Woo Hoo!!!  We just got news that the West Los Angeles VA home has finally opened.  They have already moved in two residents and are hoping to do 1-3 residents per week.  Dad is number 13.  When I spoke to the admissions coordinator, she could not give me any specifics on my Dad's exact move-in date, but I'm hoping for mid-November at the latest.  That way we only have to pay Valley View Gardens for October and then they can pro-rate our days in November, so we won't go over budget again. 

(Now if they would have only returned my phone calls last week, then I wouldn't have moved my Dad and we wouldn't have had all this drama.  But it did force us to deal with Dad's behavioral issues, so I guess everything happens for a reason.)

It takes a Village

It takes a village to care for my Dad.  And that Village came out in full support the past few days.  There have been some developments in the past two days that could not have happened without our Village.

Valley View Gardens has been so accommodating and we are so lucky that they took him back into the home.  They also still have us at the discounted rate, even though it's over our budget, but I know they are doing everything in their power to help us.  Thankfully, some of our family members have donated money towards Dad's care this month, so that lightens the burden a little on that front as well.

Also, because I am the Co-Chair for the Long Beach Alzheimer's Walk, I have started making some wonderful friends in the Alzheimer's community.  Once I told my Co-Chair about my Dad's behaviors, she put me in touch with a trusted Geriatric Psychiatrist friend of hers. We figured out that since my Dad has Medicare Part A, it will cover an admittance to a psych ward where he can have his behaviors monitored.  Everything happened so fast, but I knew this was the next step, so when I got the call yesterday morning that they would take him, I agreed to it.

They wanted to pick him up in an Ambulance, and I put a stop to that real quick.  The last ambulance bill we had was for $1000 and it took a year to get that taken care of.  So, I called my good friend, Colby, who my daughter just happens to love and asked if I could drop the baby off at her house.  I just knew it would be easier and faster with my Dad if I had two free hands.

My Dad and I continued on to Anaheim General Hospital where they checked him out at the ER.  We were only there about two hours, and Valley View Gardens had a contact who met us at the door and welcomed us in.  Finally they agreed to admit him to the off-campus facility in Buena Park where the Psych Ward is located.  The Doctor even said to me, "Usually we transport him by ambulance, and I will probably get in trouble for doing this, but I will let you drive him there."  It just seems like everyone was making an exception for us, or calling in a favor.  We are so thankful.

A few more words about this whole psych ward thing.  It seems extreme, but I think this is absolutely necessary because although all his behaviors are not uncommon for an Alzheimer's patient, they have become so bad that it's affecting his care and could ultimately jeopardize his place in his future home at the VA facility.  The behaviors I am referring to include:  Peeing all over the walls, masturbating and disrobing in public places, refusing showers and grooming, being combative and aggressive, walking the hallways at 2 AM and ultimately disrupting other residents by getting into their beds... the list goes on. 

So, for the first time in three years, I have a peace of mind and a calmness surrounding me.  For seven days, I won't get phone calls filled with bad news, I won't get complaints about Dad's behavior, and I won't have to worry about him getting kicked out, because this is a psych ward and I am sure they have seen it all.

So, thank you to "The Village" that made everything easier this week.  Thank you to Valley View Gardens, my Co-Chair Janie and her Gero Psych friend Dr. Macina, my baby-sitter and best friend Colby, and to my family for helping out with the financial burden.  And of course, the undying support from Blake (who made me a fabulous martini when I got home last night), Megan, my Mom and all the family and friends who passed on their encouragement this week. 

The NONEXISTENT upside to dementia

Well, we didn't have to wait long for something to go wrong.  Dad's new home kicked him out after only three and a half days.  While there is nothing funny about this situation, I couldn't help but crack a smile when I told my Mom and her response was, "What!?!?  Already?".

Yesterday morning I came to pick him up for a Podiatry Appointment.  The Marketing/Admissions lady said she wanted to speak to me, but we were just barely on time for the appointment, so I asked if I could talk to her after.  She agreed but quickly told me that Dad has been acting up...  (Now in the past, I have glossed over some of the more embarrassing or odd behaviors for the sake of keeping my Dad's dignity intact, but now I feel compelled to share them a little more honestly with my readers because these behaviors are not who my Dad is...  He is basically a walking and sometimes talking version of a disease called Alzheimer's and that's it.  So I am going to share the good, bad, and ugly.)

She said he was publicly disrobing, he was masturbating in the lobby, he crawled into a man's bed, he took his shoe off during dinner and threw it on the table, he stole a butter knife from the dining room and was apparently brandishing it as a weapon, and he had been aggressive.  Well, of course none of this is news to me.  He has done all this before and there is obviously an adjustment period that he would go through being in a new home.

When we came back from the Doctor, the managing director was gone, so I figured I would speak to her later in the day.  I returned at 4:00 and was asked to come into the office whereupon they basically told me that he needs to leave and if I would not take him then they would have an ambulance come take him to the ER.  "His behaviors are putting people in danger and are inappropriate for the facility."  That was it.  There was no discussion.  It was a very cold conversation that left me feeling like they were blaming me for his behaviors.

I was just sitting there with a baby in my lap who was ready to eat and had a wet diaper all while trying to figure out my next move.  I ended up calling Valley View Gardens (Dad's old home) and through my tears, begged for them to let me bring him back there.  Their response, "He's our family.  Bring him back home."  Blake arrived shortly after to pick up Emry and we had my Dad out of there within the hour.

The worst part is that we are out $500.  We paid for the four days Dad was at the new home plus a non-refundable community fee of $250.  And, we are still going to be paying Valley View Gardens for October which is $700 over Dad's budget.  A total of $1300 that we don't really have.  We're screwed.

I'm working on a few things to get Dad's behaviors under control.  This cannot happen when he eventually moves into the new VA home.  More info to come on that ....

Why can't my Dad just be that 'normal' Alzheimer's patient who stares at the floor and sits quietly by himself?  And why is this my life?  Why can't anything go smoothly?  And my biggest complaint is... DON'T CALL YOURSELF AN ALZHEIMER'S HOME IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH AN ALZHEIMER'S PATIENT!!!!!!

(below is a picture of Dad in a jumpsuit that fastens up the back so he can't pee or disrobe in public... I took this as we were leaving the home for good.)

I call this photo "Dejected & Rejected"

Now we wait...

Today we moved my Dad. 

Since we still hadn't heard from the VA Facility in Los Angeles, we had to make a decision.  Valley View Gardens gave my Dad a BIG discounted rate the entire year and two months that he lived there.  They could not go any lower and Dad's money ran out. 

We found a more affordable option in an 'okay' neighborhood in Long Beach.  The monthly rate is actually $300 less than his monthly income, so at this point, if the Los Angeles VA home doesn't work out, Dad could actually stay at this place forever.  It's not the Ritz, but the hallways are wide, the walls are all freshly painted, there is plenty of outdoor space... and for the moment, Dad has his own room.  It's called Bellagio Manor.  (we joked because if someone wants to know where my Dad lives, we could say in an impressive tone , "Oh,  he lives at The Bellagio.")  Haha.

The move went off without a hitch.  But that doesn't mean that I didn't have a pit in my stomach all day which ultimately left me exhausted both physically and emotionally.  This is Dad's third home in 2 1/2 years and we are still hoping for one more move whenever the VA home opens.  We all know that the adjustment period of a move is a long and challenging one.  After the last move there was a two week calm before the storm, and then things got a little crazy.  So, now we wait...

click below to see the website for Bellagio
Bellagio Manor

Here is a picture of some of the caregivers at Valley View saying Goodbye to my Dad...

Still trudging along...

Well, it's September and Dad still hasn't moved to the new West LA Veterans Home.  Our family is scraping up the extra money he needs to pay for his care.  But I'm starting to think that we might need to move him temporarily until the VA opens... $700 extra is what he needs per month and that is just too much.  Ugh... moving. 

On another note, Dad has scabies AGAIN.  This is his 4th or maybe 5th time... I don't know because I stopped counting.  I walked into his home to pick him up for a routine Psych visit and took one look at him and knew.  He was scratching in all the same places.  Luckily since we were going to the VA clinic already, I begged and pleaded to be seen so that we could get the medicine he needed for his skin.  Success!  I saw the problem, tackled it, and solved it all within hours!  All with a baby on my hip and one eye on the old guy with Alzheimer's!  Sorry for tooting my own horn, but normally the Scabies situations are much more drawn out.  (Although, the Nurse Practitioner didn't think it was scabies -why is it so hard to diagnose?- and I politely told her that I disagreed.  At this point, I know exactly what it looks like and how my Dad reacts to it, plus I did find out later when we arrived back at Valley View Gardens, that another resident also has Scabies.)

Scabies is highly contagious but I have never contracted it from him... my main worry this time was Emry.  I made sure she had absolutely no contact with him, and I probably washed my hands 20 times that day.

Dad also had another staff infection but this time in his armpit and it was really painful.  We opted to go to urgent care instead of sitting for hours at the VA ER.  $200 later, they gave him a very painful injection of Lidocaine, lanced it open, squeezed the heck out of it, and sent us home with an antibiotic and an order to come back two days later.  Again, I washed my hands countless times that day.  

Anyway, wish there was more exciting news to tell.  The Alzheimer's Walk is less than two months away and we're having a big fund-raiser at the end of the month.  More info on that coming soon!

Below is a picture of Dad and his favorite nurse at the VA Clinic in Whittier.  She is so good to him.  Thank you Vanessa!

Meds, Meds, Meds

 (Wish I knew what was going on in that head...)

Anyway, so many developments in the last 48 hours.  Mostly good in the sense that we have solutions to the problems for now.

I was kind of afraid to visit Dad's home alone because the Head Nurse was clearly very annoyed with me on the phone even though I did what she asked (refill the Xanax) and could do nothing more until it arrived.  In her defense, I didn't return her phone call the other day mostly because I had no news for her, but I know that added to her frustration.

Our conversation with her was a mixture of confusion and frustration on the part of all involved.  Turns out, they have Xanax.  I was so bewildered... what does she want from me?  Isn't that what she wanted?  After 10 minutes of the most dizzying conversation both my Mom and I said, "But you have Xanax?  We don't understand?"

Bottom line is that the Xanax is not working and they were so mad that we were not there to take him out of the home and to the Mental Health Department.  Turns out the VA does have an urgent care Mental Health Office that will take Walk-Ins.  So, I promised we would take him the very next morning.

When we arrived at the Mental Health office the next day, I was informed that they don't take walk-ins.  But here I was, young lady with a baby and a Dad with Alzheimer's and I told her that his home could possibly kick him out because of his behavior.  They took pity on us.  Plus Emry kept smiling at every person that passed by.  How do you say no to that?

We were seen pretty quickly and everyone was incredibly helpful and NICE.  That makes such a difference.  I gotta say, I'm really starting to Love the VA. 

After we started going through all his medications, we found out that his Seroquel had been discontinued.  This drug helps with anxiety, sexual behaviors, sun-downers etc.  Dad had been doing so well on it and I have no idea why his Psychiatrist DC'd it.  

(The psychiatrist it turns out has really screwed things up.  We had talked about discontinuing ONLY the Xanax at Dad's last appointment.  It looks like he did the Seroquel instead.  BUT, Valley View Gardens has hand-written notes from the Doctor saying that he discontinued the Ambien.  What the heck.  Get it together!)

Long story short, because I really could give much more detail.... we got that medication reinstated for now.  Although, when I got it refilled, they only gave us 10 pills.  So, now I need to figure out how to get more.  Plus, Valley View Gardens still needs a bunch of paperwork from the Doctor's.  So, I called Dad's Primary Care Doctor but they had no appointments until August.  This morning I called twice asking if they had any cancellations and viola! we got an appointment for 2:00 this afternoon.  I'm determined to get this all behind us, get Dad back on the right meds, and keep the peace with Valley View Gardens.

Below is a pic of Grandpa and Emry and a video of Dad....

On top of everything else...

On top of everything that I just posted about Dad's aggressive behavior, I did hear back from the West Los Angeles VA home about a possible move-in date.  The facility did not pass the government survey, but has since made the corrections that needed to be made.  Apparently they are hoping to get the okay this week.  I have no idea when move-ins would start, but I found out that Dad is #13 on the list.  Here's the catch -- they are only going to take 1-2 residents per week at first so that everyone can adjust properly.  That means Dad wouldn't move in for at least 6 weeks from when they start moving people in... and we don't even know when that will be.

So let me sum up all the aspects of my Dad's life that stresses me out.  No Money.  No move-in date.  Aggressive Behavior.  Dad is jeopardizing the only good thing that he has right now: Valley View Gardens -- who have been more than accommodating with his budget and behavior.

Mom and I are going over there shortly to talk to them.

A Friend of mine also sent me a link to an article about Veteran's homes sitting empty... like the one my Dad is supposed to move into.  Click Below.
Veterans Homes