A Few Boxes of Memories

We're done with Dad's mobile home. My Mom, Blake, and I finished cleaning it out yesterday. Moving the Sego Palms practically threw out Blake's back, so while he lay on the ground with the heating pad, we sorted through the rest of Dad's clothes and piled everything into the truck.

The new owner is moving in later this week and we can close the chapter on this part of Dad's life. It's a little sad. Anything important that he owned can pretty much be condensed to a few boxes. I still feel sad that I don't know more about Dad's life. I've found more newspaper clippings and cards/invitations. It looks like he joined The Air Force straight out of high school (found his complete and official file with every order given while he was in the Air Force) and then got married at age 19. A few years later, my half brother and sister were born. I'm kind of putting the pieces together. :)

I also found my Dad's baby book and under 'remarks' his Mom wrote, "He wasn't very pretty at first but later on he got so good lookin that we realized we had a real good and pretty baby boy." Hahaha. His baby hair is still taped to the book from his first hair cut. It's a blond/brown... kind of like Megan's when she was little.

Then I found a bunch of pictures with nothing written on the back. Not sure if anyone can tell me who the people are in the pictures. It could be my Grandparents or Great-Grandparents, but not sure. Don't know if I'll ever know.

Nervous to go see Dad this week. Don't know what his mood will be.

The Short Straw

Megan's been picking the short straw lately it seems. I had such an amazing day with Dad earlier in the week, but unfortunately she's been tackling all the bad days. After her visits with him she's exhausted and doesn't feel like she can handle another minute of him and I don't blame her.

She took him shoe shopping at Wal-Mart (we were told that he needed new shoes since he had peed all over his old ones). This proved to be a little difficult because Dad couldn't tell Megan if the shoes fit when she asked him. All he cared about was trying to get his job back at Wal-Mart. We won't be taking him there again. It's too annoying.

The anger really began when they pulled back in to Whittier Place. "No, I told you, I am not doing this. This place is a Dungeon, I don't want to be locked up anymore." She got him back inside and that's when the tantrum happened. He was.... pacing up and down the hallways, knocking all his hats of the hat rack, showing her how he knocked the screen out of the window, packing up all his stuff and piling it by the door, yelling at Megan. Just unmanageable and extremely frustrating.

The staff tried to offer him Ice Cream so that Megan could slip out unnoticed, but he insisted on walking her out and then pushed his way out the gate. Megan had to go all the way back in with him and leave a different way. As she was leaving, she could hear them saying, "Come over here Dave. Have some Ice Cream with everyone." And he just yelled, "No!! They lock you up... I don't want this." She kept describing Dad's behavior as 'dramatic' because he was acting like we locked him up in an insane asylum or the county jail when in actuality his home is very nice, comfortable, and the best he can get.

Megan is convinced that it's only a matter of time before Dad escapes again. These thoughts are just consuming him and he doesn't seem to be forgetting how much he hates the place. I really hope that's not the case.

Blake and I will be going down to Fallbrook this weekend to help my Mom clean out the rest of Dad's mobile home. The new owner moves in next week and we still have plants, tools, trash, clothes, and miscellaneous stuff to get out of the house. I'm not sure which I'd rather do... deal with Dad throwing a tantrum or finish cleaning out his place. Neither one sounds great, although at least I have help with my task-- Megan was dealing with it alone.

The Business Side of Things

I spent my morning yesterday doing paperwork for Dad... some good and some bad.

We got an offer on Dad's mobile home! And of course we took it! The lady is giving us a down payment and she will pay us rent until the beginning of next year when she will take over the mortgage. So, I signed everything and sent that off.

The other paperwork involved hospital bills from when he was in the hospital back in April after he ran away. We got an ambulance bill for $1000 a couple of months ago and I appealed to the VA for financial help since Dad only has Medicare Part A which doesn't cover ER bills. Then, two months later I got two more bills (this time for the ER)... one for $7400 and another for $1000!!! I don't know why I didn't think about the actual ER bills, but obviously Dad can't afford this, so I am appealing to the VA again and we're contacting a financial counselor affiliated with the hospital.

Unfortunately the process with the VA takes so long that I have a feeling we're going to be sent to Collections... I guess we'll just have to see what the financial counselor says.

Yesterday I was visiting Dad and I checked out his new laminate hardwood floors. The smell in his room is so much better although I think Dad is still peeing in other places other than the toilet. When I was picking up his dirty clothes from the bottom of the closet they were all wet. Wet with pee, oh goodie! I pulled all the clothes out and even though laundry is generally done on Tuesdays, Whittier place said they would wash all his clothes for him. I noticed that the closet door is always open and the bathroom door is always shut, so he probably doesn't even think about the bathroom, he just knows that he has to pee and ends up walking to the open door.

Dad's roommate is also gone. They didn't tell me why, but it's too bad because he was really a sweet guy. I informed the manager of the Dementia Ward that Ken's family may be calling about some missing clothes because when I looked in Dad's closet, most of the clothes were Ken's.

Apparently Dad helped the activities coordinator plant some radishes and summer squash in the garden. We spent some time watering all the plants and we ate a couple of the tomatoes off the tomato plant. He really has a great home at Whittier.

Later during my visit, we all walked to the big dining room so they could do their daily exercises and trivia. As we were walking down the hallway, I could hear a couple of the patients behind me say, "Where are we going?" and someone answered, "I don't know. I forgot." "Oh, Okay." I was giggling to myself because it was so sweet and so true.

Dad's rash is getting better but he is still itching like crazy. He took his second dose of Scabies medication yesterday so hopefully it really kicks in. I attached a photo of Dad's new floor and a video of him trying to do the exercises (I love the confused look on his face). He is the least coordinated out of all the patients. When they are doing arms exercises, he moves his legs and vice versa. At least he is involved with the group activities.

I've also been asked to write a post on another blog. The blog is about feeling better no matter what condition/cause your experiencing. I don't think they've had anyone write about Alzheimer's yet, so that will be a nice addition. Here is a link to the blog http://blog.dimmi.com/
I'll let everyone know when I write something.