Tuesday, October 8, 2013


My news today isn't good, but it's also not shocking.  My Mom and I had a meeting yesterday at the VA home to fight for my Dad's place in the home.  In my opinion, the Doctor's mind was already made up and there was nothing we could have said or done to change it.  He will not be returning to the VA home that I once called his 'final resting place'. 

I'm already exhausted when I think of describing every little nuance of the hour long meeting yesterday, so I will just touch on the key points.  The doctor stated that my Dad's aggression hasn't diminished and that he is still a threat to others.  I have been getting almost the exact opposite report from the Psych Unit the last 6 weeks.  Dad practically sleeps half the day now, he can't walk, and he is very calm and relaxed.  So, who is telling the truth?  Even worse though, the Doctor said that their particular Alzheimer's facility is not equipped to handle residents like my Dad.  He is too aggressive, too advanced in the disease, too difficult to manage... basically he has advanced Alzheimer's.  What were they expecting?  What will happen to all the other residents when they reach that point?  Will they get removed from the home as well?  You can't call yourselves an Alzheimer's facility if you only want the timid, old, and moderate-stage patients.  It doesn't work that way with this disease.  It's extremely unpredictable and can take a turn to looney-toon town with the drop of a hat.  Plus, there is currently no way to prevent, slow, or cure Alzheimer's.  Therefore, none of these patients are getting better... they are all getting worse. 

Apparently they have discharged 7-8 other patients in addition to my Dad.

Pathetic.  Pathetic.  Pathetic.
Pathetic excuses.  Pathetic attempt at proper care for an Alzheimer's patient.  Pathetic thing to do to a veteran.

So, we said our peace and we have some closure.  Not much closure, but enough so we can move on to tackle the new and unknown.  Mom and I finished Dad's Medi-Cal application last night and I just dropped it in the mail.  The VA will graciously help place my Dad in a 'VA approved' skilled nursing facility and will pay for the first 30 days until Medi-Cal kicks in to supplement Dad's monthly housing payments. 

Time to start touring homes again.



  1. Sounds like this VA home needs some Alz education.

  2. What Jerks! What do they expect? I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know what you are going through and how horrably hard it is. Keeping you in our thoughts.

  3. Hello-I know your pain. I am going through a very similar situation with my father. He was removed form his home because my mother said he hit her-but what he really does is slowly swat people a way or grab on to them. They detained him-strapped him to a hospital bed-told us it was a 72 hr hold-then sent hime to a psych hospital for 2 months. Before they medicated him with Trazodone and Depakote, he was walking and talkin. Now he can't walk or talk and is like a zombie. The Depakote/Trazadone seems like a numifying cocktail they like to put Alzheimers patients on so they will just sit there and do nothing. I've had 2 diffent doctors at differnent facilities tell me "well he looks content". Are thye out of their minds! My dad was walking and talking before they got their claws into hime. It is infuriating how these "caregivers" behave. I think they need to be put on the same meds and see what it's like. Anyway...knowing that there are others going through similar situations is comforting. My situation has an added agony of trying to get guardianship over my father and I don't think they are going to give it to me. Because they think my crazy mother won't work with me on the finances.