a HANDful

Poor Dad can never seem to catch a break... and neither can I!  He has proven to be a HANDful this week.

I got a call on Monday from his care-givers who were concerned about a possible bug bite on Dad's wrist that had caused his whole hand to swell up.  Since it's impossible to get an appointment at the Veteran's Assoc on the day of, or even the week of, we had to settle for the VA ER.  Ick.

Of course, I have a newborn who should not be going into any sick environment, so luckily Grandma was able to drive up from San Diego that afternoon to watch little Emry. 

When I saw his hand, I was glad that we were taking him to see the Doctor though.  The proof is in the pictures... this was from Monday...

His hand was extremely swollen, red, and almost hot to the touch.  He was obviously also in some pain. 

The whole stint took about 4 1/2 hours out of my day, but Dad was very patient... more patient than myself who just wanted to go back home.  (I'm a nursing mother, and I was starting to get uncomfortable!... it really was the last thing I wanted to do that day!)  The nurse took a look at Dad's wrist and was glad we came in because since the abscess (as they were now calling it) was near a joint, it needed to be watched carefully so that it wouldn't spread and cause some real damage.   They sent us to the pharmacy to collect Penicillin and a drug that treats Staff infections and gave instructions for his home to apply hot compresses 3 times a day to the wound.

Fast forward to two days later at his follow up appointment.  (And, yes, every time I have to take him to an appointment, I am trying to figure out what to do with Emry.  I'm starting realize that with a newborn, it's basically impossible for me to do it all alone.)  We had a VERY early appointment so that my husband could stay home to watch Emry and just go late to work.

The Nurse Practitioner that we saw was still very concerned about Dad's wound.  Basically it could be a contagious Staff infection called MRSA.  It was still hard as a rock and hadn't started to drain, although the swelling had gone done a bit.  She warned me to wash my hands very thoroughly since I have a baby at home and also told me that the minute it finally starts to drain, that we will need to go back to the ER so they can cut it open and drain it!  Oh GEEZ.  And that the most important thing was for the hot compresses to be applied throughout the day.  I'm not sure how successful his care givers were in actually getting Dad to agree to hot compresses...  This next picture is at his follow up appointment.  Still looking very red and angry...

So, I'm just waiting for the phone to ring again for when we have to take him back to the ER.  Poor guy.

Broken Nose!

It's been a year and 4 months since the traumatic day that Dad ran away from Whittier, was found at a Fire Station an hour later, and was brought via Ambulance to the Hospital. That was a long day with a lot of drama. I gotta say yesterday's stint in the ER was much more pleasant and filled with much less drama... not to mention that we actually got to choose the Veteran's Association ER, so we won't be pummeled with $9000 in hospital and ambulance fees again!

Turns out that Dad has a broken nose... here's the story I got over the phone from Valley View Gardens:

A male caregiver was helping Dad get dressed yesterday morning and Dad was refusing to let the t-shirt go over his head. I don't know whether it was claustrophobia, or stubborness, or just a weird phobia at the moment, but he did not want to put his shirt on. Hence, he became very agitated and hit the caregiver in the mouth. The caregiver had some blood in his mouth and ended up with a swollen lip. As soon as Dad hit the guy, he turned around to bolt out of the room and ran nose first into the door.


I was shocked to hear about his violent behavior and the nurse let me know that Dad's nose was swollen, red, and bruising. By the end of the conversation, she was convinced it was broken and that I needed to come over soon. I was hoping not to spend my Sunday sitting in the ER, but we went over there and the minute I saw his nose, I was stunned. Yes, we would be going to the ER right away. It was so huge, the tissue around his eyes were swollen, and one eye was already black... he looked like those vampires on the 90s TV show "Buffy and the Vampire Slayer".... it sounds weird, but I am going to find a picture and you'll agree.

Dad was in a great mood and was so excited to see us... "Wow, what a lovely day!" Yes, it's so lovely hanging out in the ER. He wasn't in much pain, so he didn't really realize what he had done to his nose. Luckily, there weren't a lot of people in the waiting room, and we got seen pretty quickly. The X-ray took a little longer, but we finally got the diagnosis that his nose was broken. Megan showed up at the point to take over the duties and get him his pain prescriptions. We all pretty much agreed that there would be no reason to re-set Dad's nose in 10 days once the swelling went down unless it was hampering his breathing. I would love to explain to Dad, "Okay, now, they're gonna stick their fingers up your nose and break it again so that it will get better." Hahaa, yeah right.

Could this incident have been avoided? Maybe, maybe not. The caregivers are aware that Dad responds better to women, so I'm not sure why they paired him with a man yesterday. I'm sure he wouldn't have hit a woman in the mouth. There were also no witnesses and we have no idea if the man stayed calm or if he was pressuring Dad to get dressed. He only responds to calm and sweet personalities who ask him or prompt him to do something instead of telling him to do it. We have no idea. Mom, Megan and I are planning to visit Valley View Gardens tomorrow morning so we can all get on the same page about Dad's care plan.

Oh, and the bruising and swelling will get worse before it gets better, so I'm sure I'll have some photos to be sharing over the next few days. He really does look like a vampire... proof is below....

Alzheimer's Special on CNN

I cried today watching the Larry King CNN special on Alzheimer's. My sister and I deal with this disease every day, and yet, sometimes I feel like I am learning about the severity and seriousness of this disease for the very first time.

I cried because the day when my Dad looks at me blankly and asks me who I am, is coming soon. We're getting close because Dad looked at Megan the other day and asked, "Are you looking for your Dad?" He hasn't welcomed me with a huge smile and hug for a while. It's not until I say - Hi Dad - that he responds. And when we leave, he doesn't really seem to care or notice. (I guess we should be thankful for that last one, but I almost feel like a parent with a child who doesn't need me anymore.)

One speaker on the CNN special said, "stay as close as you can to that individual." I'm afraid our reduced visits are erasing us from his mind much faster.

I also cried when Actress Angie Dickenson shared her story of her sister's battle with Alzheimer's. Usually I think about my own possibility of getting the disease, but today started thinking about my sister, and that put me over the edge. I really don't think I can bare the thought of either of us going through that some day as either care-taker for the 2nd time, or as the victim. Or then the joking part of my mind says, "we can just both get the disease and be crazy together!!!" Then of course, I don't even want to think about my Mom being afflicted with it... these are scary thoughts.

I am thankful that this special is being presented to the American public, and I am especially happy that Actor Seth Rogan and his Fiance, who are around my age, are putting a younger face to the disease. It really is a disease that is affecting our generation more and more every day... and not just with grandparents, but to our actual parents. We all have a good chance of being affected at some point... either with the disease or the challenge of being a care-giver. Obviously Megan and I know firsthand.

In a few months we will start fund-raising for the Alzheimer's Walk again and I hope to have a much bigger group of walkers this year!!! I'm getting fired up!

Goodbye Friend and Neighbor

Yesterday morning Ruth Sciumbato, our good friend and Neighbor for 20 years in Fallbrook, passed away from Alzheimer's. Her husband Pete became her sole caregiver although he did have some help from nurses, family, and visits from my Mom. Pete said he 'did the best he could' and honestly he did better than that. We all know the toll that this disease can take on caregivers.

I will always remember seeing Ruth wave at us from her kitchen window while we played in our backyard. And during this time of year she would start making her zucchini bread and persimmon cookies. Let's not forget how much Megan loved the chocolate mints that were always offered when we came over to visit. It was like having a second set of grandparents right next door! Ruth was such a bright presence with a warm smile and could always make us giggle.

Most of all, Pete and Ruth were a wonderful example of a Happily Married Couple - Married for 61 years!!!! Their love for each other was apparent in everything they did including an emphasis on family - 1 Son, 1 Daughter, 4 Granddaughters, and 1 Great Grandson. Pete and Ruth's family is relatively close by, so I'm sure that Pete will eventually be okay as he stumbles into this new part of life. He's also got a great neighbor who doesn't mind sharing a slice of pie and coffee with him. ;) (my mom)

We couldn't have asked for a better neighbor and friend for 20 years. Goodnight Ruth. You are free from Alzheimer's and although you will be missed, we all now have one more Angel watching over us.