Wednesday, April 30, 2014

First Request - Denied

The Mortuary called me last Tuesday morning, as planned, with the news that the Doctor refused their request to have the cause of death changed.  Her words were, "You were right.  He didn't want to change the cause of death."  She was surprised and she said he gave no reason.  

Unfortunately because she gave me a glimmer of hope, I became quite upset that day.  I was fired up and so many thoughts were swirling in my brain.  It took some princess music and hugs with Emry to finally calm me down.  The next day, I drove to the West Los Angeles VA Hospital to request a copy of my Dad's medical records.  Those will take about 10 business days to arrive in the mail.  Today is day 6.  I sat down and wrote my cover letter for the Doctor because I had to get all the information out of my brain.  I was going crazy.  My plan is to turn in that letter with a "packet of proof" to the Doctor so that he can be fully informed.  Hopefully I will be able to meet with him or speak with him on the phone.  

In the meantime, I went through all of my Dad's care plans and doctor's assessments for all the homes he lived in and all the hospitals he stayed at.  I currently have 3 different Doctors from 3 different facilities that have stated his diagnoses as Alzheimer's, Dementia, or Dementia Psychosis.  These papers do not prove that he died from Alzheimer's, but they do prove that he was on powerful drugs for years because of Alzheimer's.  Those drugs combined with the disease are what truly killed my Dad.  

I am hoping to find something from the Palliative Care Team at the VA hospital as well.  I believe a patient can only be put on Palliative Care if they have a terminal disease.  I think that would be very convincing.

While all this was happening, I planted a small garden in the back yard.  I am scared to grow vegetables and especially herbs because they always die.  I do not have the passion my Dad had for the earth.  He was out there every day tending to his garden.  So, I started small... 2 Tomato Plants, Basil, Squash, and Pumpkin.  Emry says to me often, "Look at my garden, Mama."  Maybe she will have Dad's green thumb.





3 comments:

  1. The world needs more people like you Kristen! A true inspiration. Your garden will grow - just a little water every few days and maybe "copper tape" to keep the snails out. I absolutely love this pic of Emry.
    Brenda

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    1. Thank you for your support Brenda! I'll watch for the snails... copper tape... never heard of that.

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  2. Hi there,

    I am a fellow caregiver and just came across your blog.

    I have been a young(ish!) carer for my mother-in-law, who suffers from dementia, for the last three years now.

    I am in the process of creating a new poetry site primarily aimed at carers, but also people with dementia as well - http://dementiapoetry.com.

    The blog is an honest account of my experience of caring over the last few years in poems - some silly, some exasperated, some happy, some sad - of my last three years caring for my mother-in-law, who suffers from Alzheimer's disease, and is aimed at helping to support other caregivers in a similar position.

    If you would be happy to link to me, I would gladly return the favour!

    DG x

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