Friday, July 8, 2011

A Big Decision

Megan and I have made the decision to move Dad due to the financial reasons I mentioned in my last blog. We don't really have any options, so it was an easy decision for that reason. Thanks to the help of our Mom we found a couple of options. For a while, it was looking very dismal since Alzheimer's Care is incredibly expensive and every place we called was more expensive than Whittier.

We did sit down and talk with Lynette, the Executive Director at Whittier Place. She was willing to work on the cost of Dad's rent, but unfortunately, we need such a low rate, that they were unable to match our price. Even if she could lower it for him to stay in Whittier Place through February, it still wouldn't be low enough and would literally leave him no money for anything else. We just don't feel good about that. Our goal for him is $3000/month.

We had a really nice talk, and we only got emotional once when I mentioned move-out day. We will be giving our 30 day notice, but if it takes longer than that, she said not to worry about it. Also, Lynette and the Activities Coordinator for Memory Care, Veronica, are going to put together a little packet on Dad for his next care-givers. Little tips about him, what he loves to do, and what a special person he is to them and the facility. I am also hoping for a nice Cover Letter from them to accompany our application packet for the VA facility that we can hopefully get him into in February.

She said that everyone loves Dave, and there will be no shortage of tears when he leaves. We are all family and it will be really hard.

At this point, we're going to take one thing at a time. It's too overwhelming to think about how he will react and how traumatic this move may be for him and ultimately us. We are expecting him to decline when we move him, and probably again when we move him in February.

One place we looked at yesterday was a pretty good option at $2975/month, and we're going to see another one tomorrow that will probably be the one we go with. The most important aspects we are looking for are an outside area/garden and lots of space to walk around. Lynette believes that if Dad has both those things, then he should eventually adapt pretty well.

We'll keep you updated. It's going to be a tough summer for all parties involved, but we did it once and we can do it again.
Here's a picture below of the activities calendar in The Memory Care of Whittier Place...
1:00 pm: Gardening with Dave


  1. good luck...I'm starting to face the issue of having to move my mom now too. I can't find anything under 6k a month.

  2. I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I have read your blog from the very 1st post. I just moved my mom to a memory care unit. She is 83 and has been married and in the same house with my Dad for 65 years. Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope and makes me stronger.

  3. Pamela... where do you live? Isn't is unbelievable how expensive Alzheimer's care is? How do people and families afford it? It's very frustrating.

    Tracy, how is your Mom doing? Did you see a decline in her condition when you moved her? We definitely did with my Dad. Good luck with everything.

  4. Kristen...I live in NH. My mom has been in a private memory facility for 5 years now and has used all of her life savings just about, hence my search for a facility with medicaid beds. I look forward to hearing about your Dads transition....I worry about this with my moms.