A Lucid Moment

While visiting the Doctor the other day, Dad was in pretty good spirits and was cracking us up with funny moments (as seen in the video below). The appointment started to drag on because we were talking to the NP for quite a while and Dad started to get antsy. He kept telling Megan "all they want is our money." She had to explain that this was the VA and she showed him the Air Force insignia on the wall and the American Flag in the corner of the waiting room. That calmed him down, but he still thought that they wanted our money.

After the appointment, the nurses tracked down Megan outside and asked if they could come back so that Dad could get some immunizations. They decided to get some lunch first and then go back because Megan was afraid he wouldn't want to go back in the place that is trying to take his money.

When they went back to the VA, they had to wait for a while and from what Megan made it sound like, Dad had a small awakening. I think he suddenly remembered that he was a Dad and he felt this urge to be there for us or help us out. He asked Megan, "Where have I been? Did I go away when you were little? My brain has gone to mush." Megan said she lived with Paula when she was little, and Dad replied, "Oh, Paula." It's a surreal moment when you have to explain to your Dad why he got divorced. He seemed to know that it was kind of his fault and he asked Megan if he was as an asshole. And she nicely replied, "A little bit." And he asked, "Why? Why was I mean?"

This is the closest thing to a serious Father/Daughter talk that we're ever going to have with Dad and it almost brought tears to Megan's eyes. In a disease where we try to hold on to any lucid moment with Dad, Megan was glad for this one.

It was such a heartbreaking conversation and he kept telling Megan how he was so proud of her, and he remembered things about her life - where she lives, her boyfriend. He asked her if Tony was treating her all right. It's definitely one of those real moments that we don't get very often with Dad. I wish I was there to witness it. Hopefully there will be more, but it's quite possible there won't be.