Denial

I sit here with tear-stained cheeks cradling a glass of wine. (You're so dramatic Kristen, you say). I know, but I speak the truth.

There comes a time when you have to face denial. Especially with Alzheimer's and Dementia. Denial comes easily with this disease. "Dad's too young to be losing his memory". "Dad is fine to live alone." "Dad doesn't have to be in a lock-up facility... he can still clean his dentures." No, he can't. Face it.

There's also the financial denial. I have to give us a little credit on this one. We didn't think it would take this long to sell his mobile home. We also didn't know he would lose so much money on it or that his Morgan Stanley investments would have plummeted so much. Someone like my husband Blake who is getting his masters in business and finance would know this, but I do not. The minute I hear numbers my mind shuts down. Yeah, I took Honors Math all through High School, but I was tutored through the entire thing. It was torture.

We had been scrambling for a place to put Dad when my Mom found Whittier Place Senior Living. Dad had been living between me, Megan, and my Mom for about a week after running away from the first place we put him. Whittier is so nice and actually very affordable when you compare it to other facilities. What took us over our budget is all the extra 'stuff' that they charge you for. $100/month to have someone help them with their dentures or $120/month for the patient to get 5 showers a week... the list goes on. (Even with all the added expenses, the place is still pretty cheap). We knew that we were above his budget but at that point we were desperate to get him in a secure place. The plan was to let him live there for the next few years while he is still young and active and then when he gets worse, we can move him to a different place.

Well, Dad's money is running out soon and he's not selling the mobile home fast enough. I'm freaking out. When we're already spending so much time visiting and worrying about rashes or trying to stop him from running away, how can we think about one more thing? Well, I'm going to stop crying and try.

We're going to meet with a lawyer and hopefully get more information about Medical. And we have some legal and financial complications (that I won't go into) and I can't even begin to understand all of it. Luckily Megan and I have my Mom who looks up EVERYTHING on the internet in record speed and is extremely quick in learning about all these government programs. We also have Blake. He is the more fiscal conservative among us and a great forecaster when it comes to finance. I'm hoping between the two of them and Dad's lame Power of Attorney (Me), we can figure it all out.

What makes the possibility of moving Dad worse? I feel like in the past week or two, I've started to notice a small change in my Dad. I think he is starting to consider Whittier Place as his home.